Several years ago, I was involved in a local Young Actor’s
Theatre that put on plays & American musicals. They always needed adult actresses & I had been doing
theatre / musicals since I was a kid. My first time out, I was cast as Mrs. Paroo in “The Music Man”, which I
played with a full-on Irish accent. It was a great show & a great time.
Three years later, I auditioned for their production of “The
Sound Of Music” with my daughter (who was finally old enough to be in a production). I was cast as the
Baroness & my daughter was cast as the youngest Von Trapp child, Gretl. In addition to doing the role, I
volunteered to help with props. I was meticulous in my work & even took the time to find a color copy of an
authentic WWII Nazi telegram, which I then made into an actual telegram, that opened & had a message. I also created some very
authentic looking programs for the Von Trapp singers concert & hand-made delicate Fimo clay
pastries, set atop a doily on a sliver tray. I found flameless candles for the Abbey and brought in a patchwork quilt for
Maria’s bed & added numerous other props.
Meanwhile, the show was double cast (so all of the kids
could have a role), which was a HUGE pain in the ass. The original Maria bailed, so the director had to find a
replacement, who turned out to be fabulous. The other Baroness was a senior in high school & dating Captain
Von Trapp, who was also the same age. I could tell that she didn’t like having a grown woman dance & act with
her bf, but that’s show biz, kid! During a break in one rehearsal, she had a total meltdown in a bathroom because
this was her last show, she was graduating from high school, going off to college, having off-stage drama
with the bf & was just generally losing her shit. I was upset & tried to comfort her, to no avail. The
director had also hired a very crappy musical director, who couldn't seem to find the time to have rehearsals or work one on one with any of the cast. Our leader seemed totally uninspired with the entire production, so
his direction was slim to none. It was a disaster.
On top of that, the costume designer was a total terror... She was clearly in way over her head, by having to create costumes for the double cast roles & work at her
day job. She gave the other Baroness some very pretty dresses to wear, but I got ill-fitting, shlumpadinka
ones that looked hideous. A zipper busted on one of them, so I had to wear one of my own 40’s style dresses
for one performance, which she was NOT amused with. Several times I heard her chastising young cast
members about their costumes, which was just mean & very uncool. But, she saved the best for last & for me…
After the very last performance, when we were all changing
back into our own clothes for the cast party, I went to go hang up one of the horrible dresses she made and
she decided to accost me as I was exiting the dressing room. As I was heading down the stairs to the backstage
area, she stood at the top of the stairs, screaming her lungs out about what a “horrible person” I was
& how "she knew I broke the zipper on the dress on purpose”, blah, blah, blah. I just stood at the
bottom of the stairs, shaking my head, as kids were trying to get down the stairs past her… I’m sure everyone in the dressing
rooms & backstage (including my daughter) could hear her totally unprofessional, insane tirade… I fired back
with, “You’re REALLY lucky I’m at the bottom of these stairs, honey!”, then I turned on my heel & went
into the wings to collect my props. My face was burning & my hands were shaking in rage. I didn’t even
want to go to the cast party, but decided to go, because I didn’t want to give this bitch the satisfaction of
knowing she’d upset me. The party was really for the kids, so I sat there, alternately glaring at & ignoring the director & his vile pal, the costumer.
But the very worst thing for me was the fact that the
printed program was chock full of typos & name spelling errors… Most notably the lack of MY name as prop
mistress. I’m not sure if that was done on purpose or by accident, but it pissed me off tremendously.
It basically added insult to injury over what I thought would be a fun, memorable theatre experience. But
you know what they say… The show must go on!
No comments:
Post a Comment